Closing one option

The week in France was a whirlwind of emotions and reactions to the possibilities of moving back towards Montpellier and making an income. After a few signs of the reality of life, the challenge of the French tax system, and the realization that our heart was in the countryside, our creative corner of St. Quentin we reneged on resubmitting our carte de sejour and recognized that maybe the south of France was for our time off and retirement and not for fulltime work life. Was it our own limiting beliefs? Or was it the truth that maybe, just maybe when you have to work everything seems different? At times everything seems to flow beautifully and at other times the signs just aren't there. Having made most decisions in our life based on thinking and rationale thought, trusting our feelings is hard to do. Yet when they are so strong, there isn't truly any other choice.

The sadness we felt showed up in terms of a few breakdowns, tears, laughter, and having long leisurely meals with friends. Our walks in the country, by the sea, and under the Pt du Gard reminded us of what we love and are so grateful for having had experienced. At the same time, nature and beauty is also in our backyard in Marin and a million other places in the world.

Jean and I both realized how this week was another week of grieving and yet we knew we had to begin to close a door or two to open some new ones.  And so the journey continues.

Sometimes you have to go there

Tomorrow night we are headed to France for a week of enjoyment (how can you not enjoy everything about France) and to make some decisoins on purchasing a home there again after having sold our 3 story village house after 15 years.

It used to be harder to get 3 frequent flyer tickets than make a life decision. Now with the economy and world turned upside down, it was easier to get the tickets two weeks before and harder to know what decision is right for the long term. 

So we are off to see how we feel, test the waters, and let it ride. Sometimes that is the only thing that works-- trusting your gut.

Until then  A tout l'heure!

Focus on your strengths

This week has been full of articles on Marcus Buckingham's book, Live Your Strong Life. The research showing that women have become more and more unhappy and sadder as they get older over the past 40 years. The reasons behind it are both speculative, hypotheses, and anecdotal. Overall, however, Marcus believes if women focus on living their strengths they will be happier.  By the time you get to be 50 this seems like the correct rite of passage women need to embrace. We are too wise, too mature, and have seen too much to worry any longer about improving our weaknesses all the time. In fact, I think as we get older we just become more of who we already are, just more so. A toast to Marcus to remind us all to focus on our strengths to live a better life!

Made everyday feel like a birthday

Birthday celebrations I believe are very important at all ages and meant to be celebrated, but why?

The history of birthday celebrations dates back (or so they believe) to the period when humans began to tell time and could count that a year had passed. The story goes that men, women, and children surrounded themselves with friends, food, and noisemakers to ward off evil spirits around the time of their birthday. Having a party and being noisy protected them from anything bad that would come into our lives. Today we may not believe we are warding off evil spirits, but indeed we are bringing the opposite- joy- into our day.  

That brings me back to the point that why do we reserve one day a year to treat ourselves special, why not have the intention of celebrating our life everyday. In turn, we can do the same for others with a simple wish of a great day, a song, a lighting of the candles, and especially treating ourselves and others with kindness.

Today is my daughter’s 10th birthday. She woke up early, climbed into bed and had a huge grin on her face in the dark shadows of the early morning light. “I’m so happy?” She said. “It’s my special day.” Her comment started me thinking about the importance of birthdays being a special day when your friends call you and sing to you, you share in a meal or cake with other friends and family, and most important you are extra kind to yourself by slowing down, treating yourself to a walk, a massage, or maybe a gift.

I then began to wonder, why can’t we make everyday (or at least more than once a year) a splendid day when all is good in the world? Why do we reserve this one day a year to  wide smiles and off-tune Happy Birthday songs, treating ourselves well, and lighting candles sending wishes up into the universe?

A few thoughts on how to celebrate your own life and those you love everyday.

• Light candles for breakfast, for dinner, or for both and blow them out while making a wish for the day
• Treat yourself or someone else by making them feel like a queen or king for the day. My favorite one is when my husband serves me and my daughter coffee and tea in bed in the early morning before we have to get up. It truly marks the day as special
• Call someone and tell them to have a great day. Better yet, sing to them if you dare.
• Do one nice thing for yourself each day; take a walk, listen to music, spend a few extra minutes reading leisurely.
• Share a delicious piece of dark chocolate with a friend or colleague and wish them a special day.
• Walk up, telling yourself, “Today is my day and great things are coming to me!”

Celebrate your life everyday! Have a great day and if it is your birthday, extra wishes to you!

And why you are at it, tell the Mom and Dad congratulations also for bringing this fabulous human being into the world physically, emotionally or both!

Congratulations to the mom's of the birthday kid

By the end of the day I was exhausted and thrilled my daughter had a terrific 10th birthday.

The preparation, the planning, the gathering of decorations, cake, and treats not to mention deciding with Zoe what outfit to wear to her "Hair,Nails, Makeup, and Fashion" party was over and I was simply fatigued.  The last bit was to upload photos to send to my family and friends -- a new dimension to party giving --the after party photos. A few minutes later, Jean and Zoe pop around to my space at the dining room table and said, "Come here, we have a surprise." I could tell she was hiding something behind her back and had her cheshire cat smile back on her face surrounded by her glamour updo she had received at the party. 

"Here maman." she said. "Here Honey." He said there are because you are such a wonderful mother and we thank you for the great job you did to bring Zoe into the world."

Behind her back she slowly brought out a bouquet of  beautiful seasonal autumn flowers.
"I love you." "We love you." Tears rolled down my face as we hugged each other in a circle.
"Thank you." I said, "I needed that." I truly did. I needed a small reminder of why we do what we do.

My sister tells me that the mothers need a special wish as much as the children. I think that is true. We give birth in some way whether it is physical, emotional or both and we give our hearts, time, energy, love, and life to these little things that grow up so beautifully. There is something about being wished a huge thank you on my daughters birthday that makes my heart pound, tears flow, and a big smile be drawn on my face as well.

So next time, say congratulations to the mom and watch the eyes water and glisten with a big thank-you.